How Should You Spend Your Retirement? DAY THREE

Written By Neil Offen

Sign up for an online dating service if you’re single. First, carefully build your online dating profile, being sure to use a photo taken back when your hair was still black and your stomach still flat, if it ever was. (But probably don’t use the one where you’re wearing the bright green polyester leisure suit.)

In your bio, mention your Olympic gold medal and your Purple Heart. And just remember that if you feel slightly awkward about your embellishments, the individuals you meet online will almost assuredly not really look like the picture they used and also may not have won multiple Nobel Peace Prizes.

Neil Offen

Neil Offen, one of the editors of this site, is the author of Building a Better Boomer, a hilarious guide to how baby boomers can better see, hear, exercise, eat, sleep and retire better. He has been a humor columnist for four decades and on two continents. A longtime journalist, he’s also been a sports reporter, a newspaper and magazine editor, a radio newsman, written a nationally syndicated funny comic strip and been published in a variety of formats, including pen, crayon, chalk and, once, under duress, his wife’s eyebrow pencil. The author or co-author of more than a dozen books, he is, as well, the man behind several critically acclaimed supermarket shopping lists. He lives in Carrboro, North Carolina.

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How should you spend your retirement? DAY ONE
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How You Should Spend Your Retirement: DAY FOUR