A Tribute to My Midwife
Barb Nolfi agreed to be my midwife back in 1977. I wanted a home birth. Barb coached me and guided me through my pregnancy. She was deeply knowledgeable, lived close to the Earth, and approached my care with the wisdom of an all-knowing old soul.
After the baby was born, I asked Barb to use a satin ribbon that belonged to my husband’s grandmother to tie off the umbilical. She was hesitant but agreed. When it was all over, we fried up the placenta with lots of butter, onions and garlic. We believed in the health benefits and humans are the only mammal that does not eat its placenta, and it is the only meat that comes from birth and not from death.
Back then—living close to the land—we wanted to be true to our animal instincts and Barb Nolfi supported us in every way. She was one of us.
After a time, everyone headed home, and we were alone in this special moment. But when we checked on the newborn, the satin tie had slipped from the umbilical and there was blood everywhere. We freaked out and ran to the phone and rang up Barb.
She picked up the phone and calmly said, “No worries. I tossed a plastic umbilical clamp on the table before I left.”
We used the clamp, and all was well.
It was so typical of Barb—calm, confident and always a step ahead of the rest of us.
My daughter Mariah is now 46 years old and every time we would run into Barb they would hug and chat about that amazing day. Barb was a pioneer for the rights of women and those disenfranchised and she stood up and never wavered for a cause she believed in.
Barb was courageous and powerful. She did not live a life of platitudes; what she said she meant and what she did she stood behind. She had no problem stepping into the fray if that meant it made things better for those who were in need.
Barb Nolfi passed away last month. When I told my daughter that I would be speaking at Barb’s Celebration of Life and telling this story about her birth, Mariah responded, “I loved Barb Nolfi—she was such a badass!”
She was indeed.
