here’s to you, mr. Robinson

       I live in North Carolina. Mark Robinson is my lieutenant governor.

      Let me rephrase that first sentence: I live in the Chapel Hill part of North Carolina, which is really not that much different from living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. But Mark Robinson is still my lieutenant governor.

      And Mark Robinson, Republican candidate, has a chance to become my governor.

      It is, obviously, more than just an embarrassment.

      It is also, alas, not an aberration. For years, when we moved here, North Carolina had been a beacon of the almost-progressive “New South,” under governors like Luther Hodges, Terry Sanford and Jim Hunt. Despite being represented on the national stage by Jesse Helms, it had created the first collaborative research park. It had created the original Smart Start program for pre-kindergartners.

      Despite Helms, it had started to creep out of the shadow of segregation and Jim Crow and poverty. Instead of tobacco, it had become known for cutting-edge research and technology.

      But over the last 15 years, my state’s governance has become increasingly radically right-wing. We are the state of the infamous bathroom bill. We are the state of extreme gerrymandering, going from one of the fairest electoral maps in the country to one of the unfairest. We have restricted the right to an abortion. We have trimmed the powers of Democratic governors, greatly expanded private school vouchers, loosened gun restrictions, politicized our universities.

      And now we bring you Mark Robinson. The recent scandal concerning him—his lewd, misogynistic, antisemitic, fascistic remarks on a pornographic website—come as no surprise to anyone living in my state. Or should come as no surprise.

      They are only the latest, perhaps the most graphic, in a long line of what traditional media euphemistically call “inflammatory” statements. They all make me wonder, most of all, how the hell did we, in my state, elect this guy? How could we, in the year 2024, be living in a state represented by someone like this?

      I am reminded, of course, that not everyone in my state of North Carolina lives in Chapel Hill, came to this area for its universities, for its culture, for its openness, for its liberal bent. We are still a state, to the west and the east of us, of small rural communities, of poverty, of deep-rooted attitudes and animosities.

      But now, I’m wondering: has Mark Robinson finally gone too far even for them?

      So, the recent news about Robinson has, paradoxically, given me a glimmer of hope. He is so beyond the pale that maybe he may pull down all Republicans on the Nov. 5 ballot. That he may be a bridge too far that will cause just enough voters to say no, or to sit it out.

      And that would mean that my state, which hasn’t voted for a Democratic candidate for president in 16 years, might actually do that now. Which would mean that my state could tip the election. My state could make the pivotal difference. My state could change our future.

      So, here’s to you, Mr. Robinson, we now know more than a little bit about you for our files, and that might be enough.

Neil Offen

Neil Offen, one of the editors of this site, is the author of Building a Better Boomer, a hilarious guide to how baby boomers can better see, hear, exercise, eat, sleep and retire better. He has been a humor columnist for four decades and on two continents. A longtime journalist, he’s also been a sports reporter, a newspaper and magazine editor, a radio newsman, written a nationally syndicated funny comic strip and been published in a variety of formats, including pen, crayon, chalk and, once, under duress, his wife’s eyebrow pencil. The author or co-author of more than a dozen books, he is, as well, the man behind several critically acclaimed supermarket shopping lists. He lives in Carrboro, North Carolina.

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An Obit for my boots: 1965-2024