I can hear you now

       The floor boards suddenly have started creaking—loudly. The once-gentle sound of the rain hitting the window now reverberates.   A fork dropped into the kitchen sink crashes noisily. The clatter of the laptop keyboard has unexpectedly become distracting. And I seem to be raising my voice all the time, with that voice seemingly coming from some place outside my body.   

      So, yes, I now am wearing hearing aids, and I am adjusting slowly to them. Make that extremely slowly. And as I have joined the ranks of so many people my age who have plugged these little marvels into their ears, I am wondering: how do you do it?

      According to recent surveys, around 20 percent of Americans 65 and over wear them. And many more should be, as it’s estimated that more than a third of us have at least some degree of hearing loss. I would say a majority of friends and acquaintances wear these remarkable devices that help them compensate for their hearing loss.

      I had resisted joining their cohort for a long time. Hearing aids seemed like such a tangible symbol of physical decline, such an embodiment of aging. But as my hearing declined, and I found myself saying, “What?” more and more, I finally gave in, albeit reluctantly.

      I now know why I was reluctant. It’s only been a month or so, and it has been an awkward adjustment so far.

      Those of you who have been wearing these things in your ears for years, why didn’t you mention that every time you scratch your head it feels a leaf blower is approaching? Why didn’t you tell me that when you chew it seems like you’re grinding logs in your mouth?

      That you have to be particularly careful when you take off or put on your eyeglasses. That it’s difficult to pull a shirt over your head without dislodging your newfangled devices. That they frequently make the insides of your ears itch. That a flushing toilet now seems like Niagara Falls. That it’s damn hard to put them in and position them correctly, and that you have to figure that procedure out each time. 

      Worst of all, why didn’t anyone tell me how totally weird it feels to have something stuffed in your ears?

      My wife, who has been wearing hearing aids for more than a decade, says I’ll get used to it all. That everyone goes through a period of adjustment.

      Although I’m not certain if I believe her, the good news, though, is that when she tells me that I’ll get used to it all, I hear her loud and clear.