Is Caregiving My Hobby?

      I often have to update information at a medical appointment. The questionnaire sometimes asks about my hobbies. I usually answer: reading, running and walking, and yoga. But for the last seven years, caregiving for various family members, including the canine variety, has taken much of my time.

      I think that’s my hobby—or my vocation—in retirement. 

Like many partners, I’ve cared for my spouse—in my case, through two bouts of leukemia, a stroke and several surgeries. I’ve learned how to administer medication via a port, flush a line, clean a wound with saline, wrap it with Coban tape and check a medicine pack when it runs low on batteries.

      In other words, I know about things that I never wanted to know or never even knew existed.

      Last year one of my daughters had our first grandchild and I help care for her. This summer they had their second child and so now I help care for these two amazing children when they are not in part-time daycare.

      I love the relationship that I’ve developed with my grandchildren, and I don’t think that would’ve happened if they didn’t know me so well. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But it is tiring.

      In the last six months, I also provided hospice care to our 13-year-old labrador retriever. She required medicine daily, had to go out frequently and needed love and reassurance. A lot of her internal systems began to go awry, so someone had to be around much of the time.

      In late July our beloved dog stopped eating and couldn’t walk, so it was time to say goodbye. I’m still mourning for her, but I’m relieved that I don’t have that daily duty anymore.

      Between the grandchildren and the dog, I began to feel a little overwhelmed and stretched too thin. Throughout the caregiving journey, I’ve been gently told I need to take care of myself as well. Sometimes this is in the form of a question, and I feel as if I’ve been put on the spot.

      I have tried to make time for yoga and other activities I enjoy. So, I think I’m doing okay, but I can tell when I need to do more for myself. I’m hoping to develop a more balanced schedule this fall that will allow me to enjoy more yoga and other activities. 

      With caregiving there are periods of intensity where you’re totally focused. But for me, that’s balanced by other downtime where I can get away with friends for lunch or just have a conversation and a cup of coffee. 

      I suspect that many people have had the same experience. To me, it’s part of aging. When I hear people talk about river cruises or other trips, I hope that the years to come hold those experiences for us.

      Caregiving has many rewards, but I’m ready for a break.