My Final Resting Place
My husband and I created a cemetery on our Vermont property 10 years ago.
His parents’ ashes are actually buried there. The headstone for my parents who were buried long ago in Pennsylvania is there, too, although they are not. These two headstones reside side by side and are a bold and beautiful reminder of the four people who created and raised us.
This year we decided to add our own headstone, which will have both our names and be placed in front of our parents’ memorials.
When I shared with my family that we were doing this my son said, “Mom, that is really morbid.”
Just the other day, our oldest grand girl who is turning 17, said all of this made her really sad, and she does not understand why she has to see our headstone with our names and birthdates when we are still alive.
We believe that if we are lucky we might live another twenty years–if we are lucky.
Knowing where we will be in our final resting place was much more important to me than my husband. He would be fine with his ashes flung into the winter wind to grace the top of his favorite snow-ladened skiing mountain.
But I want my heirs to know exactly where they can find us, and I hope they plant bright red flowers on our graves.
On Labor Day we had a family gathering on the meadow. I took the family to the cemetery and showed them where our headstone will be placed soon, and I told them that I am doing this now, so they don’t have to worry about it. All they need to do is get the engraver to add our dates of death.
Easy peasy! I explained to the grandkids that we will be around for a long time, but are just planning for the inevitable. I encouraged them to find some delight in knowing that they will always know where we are and will be able to come hang out with us.
Death is as much a part of life as anything we have already lived, and the way that we teach the next generations to approach it is important to me. I want them to embrace the reality that we all die and at some point we won’t be around anymore.
But they will know where to find us … at the top of the meadow in the family cemetery. They will recognize us in the flutter of the returning hummingbirds in spring, the buzz of the honeybees on the milkweed in summer, the rustle of the bright red maple leaves in the autumn, and the brisk chilly breath from the winds in winter.
