The Last Minute

It has, I am well aware, a lousy reputation.

      It is not just that the last minute tends to be frantic; it’s that it often gives birth to the half-assed, if not the wholly inadequate.

      And, yes, I also realize that people my age—a particularly advanced one, as ages go—are supposed to have learned, if nothing else, that putting off something, something unpleasant, has a way of poisoning the entire period of procrastination with that anticipated unpleasantness.

      So—on this day, April 15, Tax Day—I want to announce…that,

      …having not hired an accountant, because of cheapness,

      …and having on April 12, 2024, not opened Turbo Tax since April of 2023, but still having schlepped my computer around all day without opening Turbo Tax until after dinner,

      …and having kept the Knick game on in the background for a couple of hours that evening,

      …and having learned by halftime that I was missing a 1099-R form from Fidelity and having no clue what my share of my building’s mortgage interest was, etc.,

      …and, with it being Friday at 8:45pm, having had no way to get that form or the missing information for another two days,

      …and having gone for a long walk Saturday, and on Sunday having had a swim at the pool and later watched almost the whole (exciting) Knicks game, which went into overtime,

      …and having decided on Sunday evening at 11:35 to wrestle with a somewhat unreliable narrator and compose the annoying screed that you are currently reading….

      I want to announce, not only that I didn’t feel all that shitty this weekend, but that I AM GOING TO—as soon as I get through to Fidelity and the building manager and tie up a bunch of other loose ends—(quite likely) GET OUR TAXES FILED ON TIME. Not only that, but THERE IS A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THAT THEY’LL BE OKAY!

      As I’ve been insisting to my wife for some time now: the last minute is my friend.